Welcome to 50 Tabs Open!
Today, I’m chatting with Nick, who’s calling in from sunny Florida.
We spoke about what it means to live out loud as neurodivergent adults—when the world often asks us to be quiet, palatable, or explain ourselves.
This conversation was raw, honest, and energizing—like a late-night couch talk with a fellow neurospicy doer.
What a ride his story has been.
“What doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger.”
Nick and I met in that beautifully messy space between masking and meltdown, between reading the room and leaving the room.
We talked about growing up measured against neurotypical barometers, and how that shapes our self-worth.
At one point, Nick said something that hit deep:
“Comedy is meant to be comic. But some of us learned to survive by making people laugh… so they wouldn’t look too closely.”
We don’t talk about that enough.
He opened up about the heartbreak of feeling abandoned and betrayed at work—especially when your boss feels like a father figure. (Hello, RSD.)
And we reflected on the invisible antenna of empathy so many of us carry… tuning into everyone else but ourselves.
We rumbled through what it means to not feel safe.
To struggle for the right words—not just with the world, but with our mothers.
Or when you're 42 and still trying to say:
“I just want to be seen. I want to be felt.”
We cried.
Nick cried.
And we had one of the most honest conversations I’ve ever recorded.
Inside this episode, we talk about:
✨ Love on the Spectrum—and how it mirrors our real-life relationships
✨ Why authenticity often feels black or white (with very little gray)
✨ What it means to give ourselves a break and set boundaries as an act of kindness
✨ That messy dissonance of being sensory-sensitive but still craving connection
✨ How comedy can be a coping trap—and how we learn to use our voice with intention
✨ The bravery it takes to speak the unspoken: “I want to be seen.”
“I go nonverbal—and I still have a podcast?”
We also explored the grief and power of going nonverbal.
Not because we’re pretending.
Not because we’re broken.
But because our nervous systems need quiet.
And the irony of being a podcaster who sometimes just… can’t speak?
It’s real.
It’s not contradiction—it’s capacity.
Because even when we’re messy, misunderstood, or quiet for a while—we’re still in the arena.
Still showing up.
Still here.
I shared one of my favorite reminders:
The Man in the Arena by Theodore Roosevelt.
Between Nick’s 50 tabs and mine? We covered a lot of ground.
And if you’re listening to this while overstimulated, burnt out, or just needing someone to name the thing you’ve been feeling…
This one’s for you.
Thanks for being here.
Reach out and Follow Nick on Instagram: @autisticpod
And just a reminder for you, dear listener:
What’s also helped me manage the chaos?
These fabulous apps by @thefabstory. I’ve been using them for a week now, and they’ve made a huge difference in how I manage my day-to-day overwhelm.
Clarify: ADHD Organizer & Timer – Helps me stay on track with tasks and deadlines without feeling like I’m constantly chasing my own thoughts. Download on the App Store
Fabulous: Daily Habit Tracker – Assists me in building small, sustainable habits that keep me grounded and less scattered. Download on the App Store
Lumiere: Anxiety & Stress Aid – Provides a quick way to reduce tension and clear the mental fog when everything is getting too much. Download on the App Store
Lune: Bedtime Sleep Routine – Ensures I get a restful night, which, let’s face it, is crucial when dealing with sensory overload. Download on the App Store
These apps have helped bring order to the chaos. So if you’re looking for something to ease the mental load, check them out.
Tools I Love & Use:
Also, don’t miss out on Threadsight, the perfect tool to boost your productivity. Use Code: Rhalyn for 30% off your purchase.
Trust me—your brain will thank you.
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